Dralsk on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/dralsk/art/It-s-not-what-you-think-UPDATE-IN-DESCRIPTION-463765144Dralsk

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It's not what you think (UPDATE IN DESCRIPTION)

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I-I-I'm not playing with puppets. I'm... rehearsing.

A little present for sharky my buddies. :D They are, from left to right:
Jay, Robo-Shark~:iconrobo-shark:
Lempi, Lempiy~:iconlempiy:
Carmena, The-B-Meister~:iconthe-b-meister:

It's nothing big, just a small doodle I made midst the clouds of depression fleeting around my head, lately. Now, about that...

——————————————————————

Some of you might know this already, but I've been going through some depression during the past month or so. Ever since university ended, in mid-April, I've pretty much stayed home and doodled stuff, which I'd post on this very website, in my gallery. Meanwhile, this black hunk of inactivity piled up inside me like dust, as I sat down every day, 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, in front of my computer with my mouse in one hand and my headphones on my head.

I'd wager none of you think it's healthy, and I can tell you for sure it isn't either. My state of being started deteriorating significantly a bit more than a month ago. It all started with my self-esteem plummeting down on the graph. Self-depreciation and art block were on the menu. The effort I put on drawing at this point started going down, and you're left with one deviation per week. Sweet, isn't it? It gets worse.

I often didn't reply to my messages, here and elsewhere and on Skype too. I stopped talking too, rarely had more than a meal and a half per day. Worst of all, I've had memory loss, and once regained consciousness at a dozen streets from where I live, past the boulevard and midnight, in pajamas. I also did have a shower while fully clothed, more recently. Forget about smiling – that was way beyond what I was capable of.

I'm trying to keep this short, but yesterday, something turned the tables (not love, unfortunately). Know what it was? I took my bicycle and went on a stroll on the riverside. And then in the woods. And then in the old town. I saw the flooded woods, a stoat swimming, a heron's flight and lots of beautiful houses. Then, I started a puzzle at the library. Once I came back home, I cleaned the loo and shaved. And I smiled.

Yeah. Now that my cloud of depression is mostly gone, I've been able to finish this one drawing. More to come, naturally. More bicycle rides to come for me too. I can say I'm not completely healed from depression, but heck, that wee stroll was a tremendous blow.

To those that have supported me throughout that time: I'm sorry I've been hard to deal with... I may not have made it without you guys. As for everyone else, I'm glad to have you around too, and I'm glad to be on the healthy path again!

tl;dr: If you're depressed, go walk outside. Please.
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JB-Pawstep's avatar
oh my god this is adorable :D These Puppets haha! So sweet!